"Was I talking to dumb after all? Are my ideas about what to do so silly and stupid and childlike? Isn't this the time now to start following what I know to be true?"

After Ray finally uses his thoughts to something that matters, the life of a girl. It fails miserably, and he begins to question the truth in his beliefs. He did not know enough to sway the girl. And in the end it is the ultimate consequence. He is questioning whether he is following what he truly believes and knows to be true.

"I am now on the road to Heaven. Suddenly it became clear to me that htere was a lot of teaching for me to do in my lifetime."

This is a revelation of Ray's. He learns the hard way that he must teach what he knows. He must teach not what he has heard and memorized byt what he himself has discovered. He is on the road now. He has discovered what he needs to do before he dies.